The month of June is about to hit the half way point and life is looking very different. Since late January when I posted “The Road Less Traveled” my life has gone through more changes. This obviously comes as no surprise, however there was one change which did catch me completely off guard. This change has forced me to work through fear, unforgiveness and revisited somewhere I have not been since I was a young girl. As I walked through the past few months I grappled to understand what God was doing and why this stage of the process was necessary. Through embracing what was and still is most unpleasant I stand on the winds of change; a change which has caused me to experience such contentment and new hope. The road less traveled led me where I did not want to go, but it has birthed fresh vision for my purpose and a greater trust in God. Where You Are Right Now is often the key to turning the page into the next chapter of your life.
Many fail to walk in all that God has for them because they do not fully embrace the process the Lord has set before them. It is usually very uncomfortable, at times painful and will require you to humble yourself. In this instance is required me to move back in with my mother. The woman who abused me for almost half my life, and to this day feels no remorse or guilt for her behaviour. Initially when it appeared that this was the direction things were going I out right refused. I bug my heels in (as if that would ever work well with God or overpower the Holy Spirit). Fortunate for me the Lord backed me into a corner, therefore I had no other option but to cooperate.
Coming back home to live with my mother was like pinpointing the source of all life’s pain. All my issues growing up started being at with my mother. So many painful memories, so naturally I thought revisiting them seemed pointless but yet there I was. Strangely enough with each passing day things started to change for me. I started seeing myself in a new light and freshness developed in my relationship with the Lord. My mother of course is the same and I am having to find a way to deal with that, however God was giving me a second chance to be who I was created to be. The pain from my childhood has shaped so much of who I was and the Lord was and is committed to setting me free. Free to live a life full of joy, hope and purpose unencumbered with the past. What a gracious God. He not only has a purpose for our lives, but He also wants to see us free to live life to the upmost. And I happy to say a long standing stronghold is crumbling to the ground.
It’s not everyday you get to go back and redo the past; to do-over situations or certain moments in time for the sole purpose of moving ahead into your future. I was angry and afraid initially when this scenario came about. Going back to live with parent who was the author of your abuse would be unnerving even for the most mature person, but the enemy is the author of all pain and suffering. Our family members or whoever “they” were were simply ponds in his hands. This is why the bible says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28 NIV). This time here has not been pleasant or enjoyable, but it has worked out a greater purpose which I know God will use for His glory. I can now go into this new chapter of my life knowing God has spared no expense in preparing me and fully embrace whatever is ahead.
Where you are right now may very well be the key to the next chapter of your life. Don’t run from it, embrace it! It might not be what you want, but it will be what you need!!
Blessed and Highly Favored