Abuse Of Power

Since I have had all this time for reflection and introspection it is been very interesting to see what has come to light. As the sifting in my life continues (and I am sure in yours as well) I have become more increasingly aware of how my body responds to fear, anxiety and things that are perceived as potential threats. Not that I did not notice it before, however I more increasingly aware as of late. As we have all recently seen more and more images of police brutality it reminds of the times where I felt the weight of the misuse of power. It is something I have regularly experienced. Over the years God has given the courage to stand up against the Abuse Of Power. With it came immense emotional upheaval, nevertheless the Holy Spirit was there to help navigate me through it.

I have never experienced police brutality. The fear of having a gun pulled out on you is something I can not even begin to comprehend. The truth is when my life was in jeopardy and my safety was at risk the police were there to protect me. I know for many they have had a different experience. I, however, have had other individuals abuse their power over me. They have put the full weight of their authority and power they were entrusted with up against me as a means to control, manipulate, intimidate, belittle and undermine me as a person. Needless to say those moments have left a lasting impression. So much so that if a situation presents itself even remotely similar I have a physiological response. Just the thought of it can make me feel ill. Brutality is not limited to the police department. For me it came from individuals who were not wearing a uniform or holding a badge. But, there was still an oath love, care, lead and guide, of which it was never fulfilled. The harm caused was just as painful.

Being placed in a position of authority is one thing God takes seriously. Eli sons were judged for how they abused their position and authority they were trusted with (1 Samuel 2:12:36). Eli, their father, was also judged because he failed to strong address and correct his sons behaviour. The power and authority given was abused. Both Hophni and Phinehas (Eli’s sons), and Eli paid the price for their abuse of power. I have learned to trust that God will deal with those you have abused their power. Although we live in a age where is no fear of the Lord God is not asleep. He sees and He knows all. People may live their lives as though a day of judgement is not coming, but when it comes there will be no where to run or hide. Everyone will have to give an account.

Sadly there will always be situations where power and authority is abused and misused. This is an unfortunate reality due to the sin nature, but God is the lifter of our heads. He is the lifter of oppression. Walking through seasons of healing after those experiences has afforded me such valuable lessons. The bible says the things we suffer is for our benefit. Jesus himself suffered. As I look back now although those experiences were immensely painful they taught me things I would not have learned otherwise. God can use your pain to produce wisdom, so when the time comes you can be trusted with power and authority. You will not lack compassion or humility, because ALL power and authority is borrowed. It is be stewarded like money. Using it as if it belongs to you is equally as dangerous as inflicting it on an undeserving person.

Thank you for joining the journey 

Know you are loved,

Little Rose

Truth In The Inward Parts

Have you had one of those weeks where your emotions were all over the place? When you had to pray more fervently just to get clarity? I have had to linger a bit longer at the feet of Jesus this week. There were a fews situations which caught me off guard and that left me deeply unsettled. Although I know, somehow, it will work itself out it has unearthed something within. Needless to say I have written and re-written this blog several times. I grapple through what I feel verses what should be penned out for the others to read. So I am giving you a heads up! What I am about to share may be a little raw, but I know this time of self-isolation God desires to address the deeper issues which concerns us. He is looking for Truth In The Inward Parts.

I recently had to acknowledge my need for external approval and how shaken I become when I am on the receiving end of someone’s disapproval. We all want to be liked and accepted. It is an natural desire, one I believe God has given us. However if the foundation of who you are is not rooted in the Word of God and what it says about you, you can find yourself standing on shaky ground. In times past I have found myself in many situations where I was taken advantage of and endured abuse simply because I did not have the courage to stand up for myself. I was crippled by the fear of potential outbursts, public humiliation, being physically attacked or left alone with no one to rely on. You would be surprised how many subject themselves to horrific treatment simply because they fear public humiliation or being left alone. They fear the shame of being the topic of peoples conversations.

As I continue to live most of my life in doors I am becoming more increasingly aware of how our thought lives affect the quality of our daily lives. This can obviously be challenging when we are presented with problems which brush against sensitive areas or where we already have had unpleasant past experiences. As I watched service online (www.hwc.org) I am reminded how our thoughts influence our emotions, therefore impacting our decisions. This is a time, as I have said before, to take stock of one’s own inner condition. To go before God and co-operate with the Holy Spirit. It is time to CLEAN HOUSE; our spiritual house. 

I cry out to God. I desperately need Him! There is no future without Him in it. I need Him to change me. Every area, past or present, must be transformed. With a global pandemic and heighten racial tension lean closer to your Maker. Filter all your thoughts and emotions through Him.

No clear cut answers end, just sharing what is on my heart……

Thank you for joining the journey 

Know you are loved,

Little Rose

In His Hands

In a time where we are all forced to be still I have to say I personally struggle internally. Being on my own since I was fifteen and having pretty much raised myself it has always been challenging to wait on anybody for anything. Furthermore, to rely completely on and trust the Lord to follow through with things has always been a stretch in my mind. Although His track record is perfect and I continue to declare the truth of His Word I do wrestle with my flesh. Now with everything being up in the air and all plans coming to a screeching halt I am without anything to do. I know without a doubt that God is up to something, but there a choice to make. To wait and leave everything In His Hands or to “make” something happen on my own.

In 1 Samuel 13:9-14 Saul failed to wait and presumptuously acted causing God to shorten the length of his reign as king. Impatience and lack of faith came at a great cost. To wait on God, trusting Him to move at the right time is a battle of your will. The world tells women “you do not have to wait on anyone for anything” and that “you can do it all yourself.” This is their definition of female empowerment. However this is an incorrect understanding of empowerment. Empowerment is not a matter of self will; a blatantly licence do whatever you please. Saul’s life is proof of that. Real empowerment is relying solely on God and His Spirit to lead and guide you. To turn to Him for strength, instruction and wisdom. Yielding your will to His maybe difficult at times, however it brings unspeakable blessing, peace and joy.

On the heels of making the most of my Mary moments I thought it would be fitting to share this. We live in time where women are given a distorted a message. Nevertheless, the message of female empowerment does hold some degree of truth. Women are incredibly insightful and complex. We possess beauty that goes beyond the exterior. It is our natural instinct to nurture, fostering growth and development in those around us. Sacrificing is in our DNA along with the inner strength enabling us to “will” ourselves to whatever we set our minds to. But there is another side to this. Willfulness is sin and a lack of patience on display. One full of regret and consequences that can not be avoided.

This is a season for great blessing, but it is not without the element of choice. My prayer is we all will take time to wait on God. This time of seemingly inactivity the promise is not lost, it is actually being prepared. Therefore learn from the life of Saul; it is written for our benefit. I for one can not afford to make the same mistake……  

Thank you for joining the journey 

Know you are loved,

Little Rose